My daughter was about to experience a less than ideal circumstance and I was concerned!
I was dropping my daughter off for a week-long outdoor youth program. It had been raining, and the forecast called for continued rain throughout the week!
This event was something she had looked forward to for a long time! I commented that I felt badly about her camping in rainy weather all week.
Her reply caused me to pause!
She shrugged her shoulders and said, “Mom, that’s ok. It’s not the weather, it’s the people that make it fun.”
What an insight! I was focusing on the circumstances and wanting everything to be perfect for her so she could have a good experience.
Whereas, she knew that regardless of the weather, the association and friendships she would develop, would be more influential of a positive outcome.
All too often I forget that message and focus on what I think the situation should look like and what I should do to make it successful. Assuming such a responsibility, can easily lead me to feeing unhappy because of things I cannot control, and then I wonder why I am not enjoying the experience!
My daughter understood, and I was reminded that circumstances don’t make one happy, but that people and shared experiences have a more powerful effect on the positive, desired outcome.
If you have the tendency, like I do, to expect circumstances to make you happy, here’s three simple steps to take:
- Remind yourself of the purpose, i.e. to strengthen a relationship.
- Ask yourself what action or non-action will best bring the desired result.
- Act on that answer.
Learning these simple steps have gone a long way in keeping me from getting bogged down in the less important things and begin to enjoy events rather than feeling upset that all did not go as planned.
So, from a recovering micro-manager, 🙂 here is my advice to you:
- Focus on people
- Remember the purpose
- Don’t let circumstances determine your happiness.
Sending you much love,
P.S. If you need help overcoming your tendency to allow circumstances to determine your happiness, get in touch with me and schedule a SimplyHealed™ energy session today.
It is amazing what clearing the energy can do in healing and strengthening relationships!
Dear Melanie,
That was such a good reminder. One of the best things I’ve learned from you–and the course I took from you is to remind myself, going into situations that sometimes cause me stress or disappoint me when they don’t turn out like I want, what I want to feel and to choose that. To remember what is most important–and not let little things ruin what can be a great time or experience. Thanks!
Thank you Yvonne! That is something I need to remind myself of often! Wished I had understood it sooner but I’m so glad I’m learning it now!