My husband and I recently celebrated 33 years of marriage.
It’s been a voyage of discovery for both of us.
Though I’m not a marriage counselor, I have come to understand a thing or two about how a marriage works.
These insights have changed my marriage from a good relationship to one that thrives and also works for any relationship.
1. Love is a choice.
“Because love is a much a verb as it is a noun, the phrase ‘I love you’ is as much a promise of behavior and commitment as it is an expression of feeling…When we choose to love (the verb) and decide to act by expressing and showing it, only then can the noun of love begin to blossom.” (Lynn G. Robbins)
I may not feel loving at any given moment, but I can still choose to love.
2. How I choose to think about my husband and marriage is what I experience.
If I think of my marriage as stifling, unfulfilling, stagnant then that is what I experience.
If I think my husband should be changing to please me, dissatisfaction results.
As the years have gone by I’ve realized that I play a more powerful role in the success of our relationship than I first understood.
When I choose to look at my husband as a man who:
-works hard to provide for his family
-wants to do right by me
-is trying his best to do his part in creating a loving marriage
-loves and honors me
Then that is exactly what I experience!
What I look for, I find.
Not just in marriage, but in any relationship.
What a wonderful voyage of discovery!
Much love,
