The Roles of the Heart and Mind in Decision Making

Have you ever been confused about the roles of the heart and mind in decision-making?

I had an experience with one of my daughters that taught us both the importance of when to use the mind and when to use the heart when making decisions.

The Opportunity

My daughter was invited to a last-minute event with limited spots, and she had to decide right away.

This meant rearranging some of her other commitments, which would have been a bit inconvenient.

Because I was unsure about what she really wanted to do, I was indecisive about how I felt and how to guide her.

She hesitated because I hesitated.

We spent our time trying to figure out all the details before committing.

Too Late

After some time, we discovered that all the spots had been filled.

The opportunity vanished, and the disappointment was real!

We had fallen prey to focusing on the “hows” and the “what ifs.”

We made the mistake of letting our minds take over too soon.

There is a place for the mind and all its wonderful thinking capabilities, but that time is not during the initial phase of a decision.

When to Use the Mind. When to Use the Heart

The beginning phase of decision-making should come from what the heart is telling you.

If she had come to me and said, “Mom, this is what I want to do,” I would have helped her make it happen.

Instead, we both succumbed to uncertainty and overthinking, allowing the opportunity to slip through our fingers.

After the disappointment passed, I realized the following:

The first part of decision-making is to know what you want and to express it.

It’s not about trying to guess what someone else wants you to do, or figuring out all the details before deciding. 

Your first job is to recognize what your heart is telling you and to trust it.

The mind will get its chance to create the plan, and the “how” will fall into place.

I encourage you to tune into your heart and trust that the mind will step in at the right time to make it happen.

Much love,