As my family was offering their advice to a daughter in her dilemma, I realized I had the same challenge.
I struggle knowing how to receive graciously.
My daughter had received a gift from a friend that was more expensive than she was used to receiving. She wasn’t sure how to respond.
THE VALUE OF GIVING
As a society we recognize the value of giving.
There are scientific studies that show we are genetically wired to give, and when we do so the brain releases dopamine, the pleasure hormone.
We feel good when we give.
WHAT ABOUT THE RECEIVER
Yet for every giver there must needs be a receiver.
But receiving feels far less noble an action than giving.
Maybe we don’t feel deserving, or we feel obligated to gift something in return of equal value. Perhaps we confuse receiving as taking. Or we may judge ourselves as being selfish.
After the family asked my daughter questions such as:
-Does it make you feel obligated to your friend?
-Is there some ulterior motive?
-Are there strings attached?
She realized that basically, it just made her friend happy to gift her something she would enjoy.
WHY RECEIVE GRACIOUSLY
The conversation moved to not whether she should receive the gift, but how to receive graciously.
Regardless of the reason why, when we don’t receive graciously we run the risk of hurt feelings in the giver.
It’s easy to feel slighted, marginalized, rejected when what we offer is refused.
The joy of giving is denied.
Receiving graciously allows us to:
-honor the giver
-make deeper connections with others.
-be nourished by another’s kindness.
-be fed emotionally and spiritually
-share the happiness
HOW TO RECEIVE GRACIOUSLY
I love the idea of Tabitha Dumas who tweaked the traditional meaning of R&R, rest and relaxation, to stand for rest and receive.
She suggests you take one day of the week to rest and receive. Re-read old thank-you notes. Quiet your mind. Be still and contemplate God’s blessings. Write in your gratitude journal. Get out in nature and appreciate.
With increased appreciation comes an increase in the ability to receive.
I appreciated my daughter sharing her experience, for it reminded me of the importance of receiving graciously.
I invite you to join me in practicing the art of not only receiving, but receiving graciously.
Let’s not make the mistake of thinking that giving is better than receiving.
Giving AND receiving are two sides of the same coin.
We cannot have one without the other and joy is found in both!
Much love,
