Letting Go of Frustration - Melanie B Newman

In my ideal world, my days would flow with grace and ease. No stress. No drama. No problems. Wouldn’t that be wonderful?!

There are times when that actually happens and I love it! But then there are those “other days.”

Before I knew how to consciously handle frustration, those “other days” would easily destroy any semblance of grace and ease. It wasn’t until I learned some mental techniques that I’ve been able to let go of my fear of frustration.

Perhaps you too can benefit from these same helps.

If you want to get right to the helps, skip my personal story that follows. If you’d like a bit of humor, continue reading. ?

This is a silly example, but the experience gave me the opportunity to apply what I’ve been learning.

Since my grown children live in different areas throughout the United States, I have a family video call with them once a week. During one recent call, I was showing them my recently finished afghan. I was proud of this all-summer long crochet project.

Wanting to document this project and show it to them at the same time, I carefully arranged the afghan on the floor, and stood above it to get just the right angle to take a picture.

My youngest daughter wandered in just then and as I took the first picture she threw her arm into the shot. Every time I’d snap a picture there would be a leg, or a hand or a head showing up. I could tell she was enjoying the challenge of inserting herself into some part of every picture.

Encouraged by the laughter of her siblings watching from the phone, she gracefully lay down on the outer edge and rolled herself up like a burrito, just as I thought I’d finally get my perfect picture!

All I wanted was a quick picture of my afghan, and instead I got a series of pictures of my daughter’s antics. What only needed to take five seconds took much longer!

Admittedly, by now I was also laughing.

What could have been a potentially frustrating moment turned into one of laughter, exasperation too, but mostly laughter.

Have you experienced times when you wanted to quickly accomplish a task so you could move on to the next task only to be frustrated by delays?

Tools to Deal with Frustration:

Notice the moment you start to feel frustrated

Frustration doesn’t happen all at once. It builds over time. The resistance you feel when frustration begins comes from feeling you are not in control of the situation. Your sense of inadequacy and limitations begin to creep to the surface and can dominate your emotions, if you’re not aware. Awakening to these feelings will help you recognize that moment so you can then do something about it.

Get curious

Ask yourself why you are getting yourself worked up and if it’s reasonable. Ask yourself if there is a better way to respond. Remove the seriousness and see frustration as a puzzle to be solved or as a challenge to be met.

Gain clarity

Get clear on what you are wanting to accomplish. Maybe you aren’t as clear as you need to be hence the rising frustration. Maybe you are contributing to going in a direction different from where you intended.

When you gain clarity, your methods or actions may change to align with your true goal, and then your actions adjust accordingly. Frustration diminishes.

Change your perspective

Look at frustration as a challenge to do better. Notice what has worked for you and what hasn’t. Coming from a different perspective can change not only your thinking but also improve your ability to accomplish the task at hand. Frustration can then be an opportunity for positive change.

These mental shifts need not be overwhelming. Many times, just a few tweaks in your thought processes is all that is needed to eliminate frustration and accomplish your goal.

How you handle yourself in the moment of frustration can greatly impact your success.

Remember, frustration is a choice.