Have you ever neglected (intentionally or unintentionally) an area of your life and then berated yourself repeatedly for not being “good enough to do it all?”
Letting Go When You Haven’t Wanted To
I most definitely have! Yet I was reminded of the uselessness of self-condemnation as I stepped outside the other morning and started to clear away the layers of dead leaves, branches and dirt that had accumulated in my yard from over 2 years of neglect!
For you gardeners out there, don’t hold it against me, but I don’t love gardening or yard work. I do love the end result though. For years I had tried to keep my yard attractive with garden and flower beds. All with varying levels of success.J
But these last two years have been ones of personal growth and stretching in ways that demanded much of me and certain areas of my life were neglected!
I had started my own business, created and presented on-line tele-summits, taught on-line programs, studied, worked hard and learned new skill sets. All of this in addition to the usual farming alongside my husband and being a mother to six children in various stages of their lives, forced me to make the conscious decision of letting some things go.
Trying to Do It All
At first, I attempted to continue on with my usual actions of pruning, preparing soil, planting, watering, weeding and maintaining a large yard, but quickly found myself overwhelmed (and cranky). There were not enough hours in the day, nor did I have enough energy.
I had to let something go, and that ended up being my yard.
There are times in our lives, such as, illness, loss of work, starting a new endeavor, changing family dynamics that disrupt the normal routine, and what we once took for granted as the status quo is no longer possible.
How do you respond?
How do you respond to such situations? Even if it’s something positive or desirable, change can be difficult. There may be a period of mourning or feelings of uncertainty, maybe nervousness or even excitement while entering a new phase of life.
What I’ve discovered is that how we respond directly affects our happiness and our ability to transition successfully.
In this experience of letting my gardening go, I at first felt bad that I didn’t have time for my yard. I felt bad that it didn’t look as nice. I felt guilty and second-guessed my decisions.
But Here’s the Key!
Once I made the conscious decision (without negative judgment), that for a time, my focus was elsewhere, I freed myself up to have the experiences I needed without regret or guilt tainting the experience or holding me back.
Are there some areas of your life that you are trying to hold onto just because it’s always been that way but that are no longer uplifting or serving you?
The Question to Ask
If you’re confused and uncertain about all you want or feel the need to accomplish but know that it’s just not working ask yourself the following question.
Is this activity, this expectation, this area of my life nurturing or supporting me or is it sapping me of my enthusiasm and energy?
Be honest with yourself and listen to the answer.
Surprising Discovery
The best part of all of this is to discover that the thing you were afraid of losing may just come back to you. Or it may not. But know that you can rest easy, trusting and knowing that all things will work together for your good!
Sending you much love in your self-discovery!
P.S. I don’t know if I will ever spend as much time in my yard or garden as I once did, but letting it go for a time has given me freedom to choose how, when and where to spend my energies from now on. In other words, it has brought new life.
