Have you ever felt uncertain about a decision you needed to make?
I have a tendency to stress over decision making and the possible consequences.
The Dilemma
Some years ago, I was faced with a decision whether to drive cross-country from Idaho to Maryland with one of my daughters.
We love each other dearly, but we are very different.
We had different experiences growing up.
We have different personalities.
We think differently.
We spend money differently.
We eat different foods.
Sometimes we really annoy each other.
Though I believe that love can overcome many obstacles, navigating a cross-country trip together could be tricky.
I did not want to ruin our relationship.
The Uncertainty
Before the decision was made to travel together, uncertainty ran rampant.
This trip together could either be a huge disaster or a wonderful experience.
Because of this trip, I discovered specific questions that help me when making decisions involving other people.
Questions to Ask When Undecided
*Do you have ground rules or do you just wing it?
I appreciated that my daughter asked at the beginning of the planning stage, “What part of the trip do you want to be in charge of?”
We both happily agreed that I would plan the route across country and she would arrange my flight back home.
(See my post on how thoughts affect relationships. https://www.melaniebnewman.com/voyage-of-discovery/.)
*Do you have clear expectations?
I wanted to drive longer hours during the day to get there sooner.
She wanted the same.
*Do you know what’s important to yourself and to the other person?
I wanted a place to sleep each night and a hot shower each morning.
She agreed.
*What are you willing to compromise for the sake of the relationship?
It was a challenge to arrange things at home, so I could be gone that long, but she’s important to me and I decided it was worth it.
*Do you communicate?
I learned that expressing and discussing my wants are vital to the success of any endeavor with another person.
Becoming resentful because someone does not know how to guess my needs is certain to bring on problems.
With the knowledge the answers to these questions provided, the trip was planned and a great experience resulted!
I hope you might find these questions helpful.
I’d love to know your experience and what has helped you overcome uncertainty.
Much love,
