Hidden Messages, or Not?

Have you ever felt judged by another person’s words or actions; that someone was sending you a hidden message?

Or perhaps someone has felt judged by you, though you may have been innocent.

Messages are sent and received constantly, and as you have ‘experienced, misunderstandings can easily result.

I invite you to listen in on a family conversation that shows how easy it is to attribute judgment where none was intended.

Family Conversation

Daughter #1 “Mom, did you put baking soda in my exercise shoes?”

Mom “No, but that’s a good idea.”

Daughter #1 “Well, who did?”

Mom “I don’t know. Are you sure you didn’t and just forgot?”

Daughter #1 “No, I didn’t. You should have asked first.”

Mom “I didn’t do it.”

Daughter #2 who had been listening to the conversation, now joins in.

Daughter #2 “Do they have a lot of white powder in them?”

Daughter #1 “Yes!”

Daughter #2 “Oh, it’s powdered sugar.”

Daughter #1 “What?! Did you like, pour it in?!”

Daughter #2 “I made a pumpkin roll and shook the powdered sugar off the towel outside the door.”

Daughter #1 “It won’t come out.”

Daughter #2 “I know. Sorry.”

Daughter #1 “I thought someone was giving me a message.”

Hidden Messages

Do we sometimes read meaning that isn’t intended into messages?

Do we then reach a conclusion based on our misinterpretation?

Though the inconvenience remained for Daughter #1, her annoyance was greatly reduced as she understood what really happened and was able to let go of judgment. 

She was even able to laugh about the incident.

We get to choose every day how to interpret any and every situation.

Know this

Nothing has meaning until we give it meaning.

A word, a discussion, an event, in and of itself, does not have meaning. 

It just is.

We are the ones who give an interaction significance and often times that interpretation is not accurate. 

Hence, the misunderstandings and hurt feelings that so easily arise.

We can change that all too common occurrence by changing what we choose to think.

Being careful and conscious of how we are judging a situation is the first step to freeing us of misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

Yes, the inconvenience of having powdered sugar in her exercise shoes was still there, but getting rid of the judgmental interpretation freed my daughter to accept the situation with humor and forgiveness. 

She was able to appreciate that there really was no hidden message.

Are there situations in your life that might improve as you let go of the idea of hidden messages?

Much love,

P.S. Does anyone know how to get powdered sugar out of exercise shoes??