A few months ago, shortly after the holiday season, I was playing “Just Dance” with my children. “Just Dance” is a dance video game where the participant’s movements are recorded and scored by how close they match the movements of the dancer on the TV screen.
My purpose was to get moving after the holiday over-indulgence and to have fun doing so! My children’s purpose was to have fun and probably laugh at Mom. My son, who would hardly move his body, could move the sensors just enough to match and would often, to the annoyance of his sisters, outscore them, even surpassing the sister who is a natural dancer and could have been the one on the screen. Me? I was just trying to keep up.
As I was celebrating my first successful dance, by congratulating myself and telling everyone in the room how awesome I was, (I had to be my own cheerleader) one daughter, not agreeing with my assessment, said, but “I won.”
Feeling that since she had not exerted herself very much and that I had gained the most out of that dance, I replied. “But, I was more successful than you.” She then said something profound, though she may not have realized it at the time. “It depends on your definition of success,” she said.
Exactly!
Success for me was not the high score. I wanted to move and have fun getting some exercise. So, I felt very successful! She, on the other hand wanted to win with the highest number of points. And she did.
In a competitive game, is it possible to have more than one winner? Maybe the answer depends on your definition of success?
Is your definition of success colored by comparisons, or the question of what others might consider successful?
It’s easy to say that we don’t care what others think, but we are constantly being bombarded with someone else’s ideals, in the news, T.V., magazines, social media, etc. It takes a lot of self-confidence and maturity to come to terms with what being successful means to you and acknowledge that it may not look like someone else’s definition of success, and that is just fine!
I encourage you to get to know yourself and listen to that inner voice that knows and will acknowledge your best efforts.
Celebrate your successes because they are yours!
Love,
