Does fear hold you back from trying new things?
-Fear of failure.
-Fear of not being good enough.
-Fear of embarrassment.
Maybe you have the mistaken belief that to be of value anything you do or create needs to provide a monetary return.
There are many reasons we stop ourselves from trying something new.
Trying Something New
It wasn’t until a wise friend who, knowing my struggle, said to me, “Why would you expect to be good at something you’ve never tried?”
With that simple question I suddenly felt I had been set free. I felt as if I’d been given permission to just experience.
It became clear to me that I had been limiting my experiences and my growth, because of fear.
And a question formed in my mind.
What if I gave myself permission to experience or try something new just for the sake of having the experience?
I began to recognize that my children had been showing me those very examples for many years.
Learning Russian
My youngest daughter, a college freshmen, was recently planning her second semester classes. We were visiting on the phone when she asked,
“What would you think if I take a Russian class next semester?”
Though the question caught me off-guard, I responded first with, “I think that is great!”
But then I began to question.
I wanted to be an encouraging, supportive mom, yet I worried about what might happen to her.
-What if she started the class and it was too hard?
-What if she eventually wanted to drop the class?
-If she dropped the 4-credit class, how would she pick up the credits she needed to maintain her scholarship?
-Why does a Psychology Major need to learn Russian?
-What if taking time for that class took her away from classes she should be taking?
-Did she know that Russian doesn’t use the same alphabet?
-What was she thinking?
These thoughts and more were running through my head when I blurted out something less than supportive.
“Maybe you should have a plan B, in case it doesn’t work out.”
So much for encouraging my child!
Fast Forward
Fast forward a few months.
This daughter is now in the middle of the semester thoroughly enjoying her Russian class!
Yes, it’s hard.
There are times she struggles with self-doubt.
It takes much time and practice.
But she is also learning more than just Russian.
Learning More than a Language
-She’s learning she can make decisions for herself.
-She is learning to manage her time.
-She is learning that she can do hard things.
-She’s creating friendships and gaining a unique skill.
-She is learning that it’s okay to try something new just for the sake of trying something new.
Whether or not it turns into something more is beside the point.
She’s having experiences that she would have missed out on if she had given into my or her own fears.
Hooray to the courage of a young woman unafraid to try something new.
What an example to me!
I hope you find inspiration to try what you’ve been avoiding, and give yourself permission to just have the experience.
Much love,
Hillary says
Wow, you just hit the nail on the head. All of us can relate to something in this message and it would be that we all can learn to make what we think is a huge step in our life happen without judgement just for the sake of exploring something new. I mentor middle school girls and find this significant to share with them. Thank you, Hillary
Melanie says
I’m so glad you found this meaningful Hillary, and I hope it can provide encouragement for your girls! I wish I had understood this when I was their age. What a great mentor they have in you! Thank you for sharing your thoughts!?
Amanda says
I literally was just praying last night confessing my fears about something I’ve felt inspired to do for years. I keep putting pressure on it as if it needs to mold into something great. That to justify the time and effort, it needs a temporal return. From here on out, I’ll think of your reminder—allow the experience. Perhaps then I can feel free to just do it. Thanks Melanie!
Melanie says
I understand completely Amanda! I often put so much pressure on myself that it stops the flow of creation. I’m finally understanding that and doing my best to relax and allow. We’re all works in progress. Love you!?