Differences Among Friends

Differences among friends need not be a problem. I recently discovered the differences I observed between my daughter and her friends to be empowering.

Let me explain.

Rather than wanting some other gift for her high school graduation, my daughter wanted time with her friends, so they planned a trip together.

We live in Idaho, and sharing the warmer weather and fun activities of Southern Utah was attractive to them.

I had the opportunity to travel with and observe these four friends, all capable, mature, young women.

The thing I noticed is that they had a deeper understanding of what friendship involves than I had at their age.

They understood that differences among friends is not a problem.

I observed how different they each were and yet how they enjoyed one another’s company.

Two liked hiking. Two did not. One expected to buy groceries and cook; one expected to eat out.

I saw how they respected each other’s interests and view points.

They took turns choosing activities or movies to watch.

They asked what each other wanted and to what degree they preferred a choice.

They talked through and created solutions to any differences.

They cared that each had a say.

I saw them encourage each other in areas that were strengths to one, but unfamiliar to another.

I noticed my daughter helping one non-swimmer friend using the same technique I used with her as a child. (Floating on her back imagining a string pulling her torso up to the sky).

These young women with all their differences in backgrounds, abilities, likes and dislikes understand and appreciate that differences can add to, strengthen and enhance their friendships as a whole, and themselves as individuals.

I realized that they each made each other want to be a better person.

How gratifying it was for me to see that my daughter and her friends are way beyond me at that age, knowing how to navigate differences and support the good in each other.

Do I do the same for my friends? Do I recognize those that support me?

Seeing these young women interact encouraged me to see and treat my friends as the gifts they are.

Much love,