Did you know we can interrupt the beautiful, flow of our daily lives by doing something that we mistakenly think is noble?
Many women and men believe it is their responsibility to provide help to others, even at great sacrifice to themselves. We see this in the sacrifices a mother makes for her children, or a father providing for his family.
What is more noble than sacrificing for the benefit of another?
I’d say, nothing is more noble!
Yet,
I often see, and have experienced myself, the mistake of believing that in order to provide help or service to another, I must constantly give and never receive.
I have often refused someone’s offer of assistance thinking, I need to do this on my own.
But what happens when we give without receiving?
- We allow feelings of resentment, and even guilt for feeling resentful, to creep in.
- We stop the flow of abundance.
- We create feelings of separateness.
- We deny ourselves and others the positive emotions of joy, acceptance, appreciation and gratitude.
If you hear yourself saying, “No thank you. I’m fine. I don’t need help. I can do this on my own.” Ask yourself why you are saying that. What are you really saying?
- Is it pride for how you want to be perceived?
- Is it the desire to prove your capability?
- Is it fear of appearing needy?
- Is it a mistaken belief that it’s your responsibility to always be the giver?
What if instead you freely accepted offers of kindness and assistance?
Let me share a personal example.
I recently performed a huge favor for my daughter. She accepted my help gratefully and wanted to do something in return.
The former me would have brushed aside her offer, thinking I’m the mom and mom’s are supposed to make their children’s lives easier.
Yet because of years of believing and doing that very thing and experiencing the exhaustion and resulting resentment, I’ve learned a better way.
I said yes!
“I’ll take your offer of a foot rub for having baled hay all night for you because you weren’t feeling well.”
That may not seem like an equal exchange to you, but that isn’t the point. Accepting the offer kept the positive energy flowing.
My daughter and I both experienced feelings of appreciation and gratitude.
When someone refuses to receive, the other person’s efforts of giving are stopped abruptly. The energy flow stops. Vital life energy diminishes and soon the giver has nothing left to give.
Whereas, when we graciously accept offers of assistance from others, the positive energetic flow continues for both. Both are blessed in the giving AND receiving.
Our hearts expand and we feel more balanced and alive.
My hope is that you will allow both giving and receiving to flow through your life so that you may experience greater vibrancy and fulfillment.
With love,
