Do you ever find yourself re-visiting, even re-living your mistakes?
Do you use those memories to punish yourself?
Might those experiences be a good thing?
Years ago, my junior high daughter came home with a failing math grade. She had gotten caught up in different classes with new teachers and new friends and had fallen behind.
I responded with shock. I was dumbfounded at how this had happened. I lost my composure and completely over-reacted.
I immediately felt bad as I saw the look on her face and tried to undo the hurt I had caused.
For a long time after that incident, I felt terrible and believed I had failed as a mother. I even used the memory of my behavior to prove that I wasn’t good enough.
But I soon learned that demeaning myself for my mistake was not helping anyone. It was interfering with my ability to do good.
As I recognized the disservice I was doing to myself and others by dwelling on my mistake, I began to see good coming from that experience.
I became more accepting of other’s foibles.
The next time one of my children came to me with a bad grade or a mistake, I was more patient.
I remembered the earlier experience and avoided making the same mistake.
My responses became more supportive, not only to my children but to other people as well. I had become more patient and understanding with the ability to focus on the person rather than the initial event.
This daughter has gone on to be successful in her schooling. Though I cringe at how I reacted back then, I am grateful for the patience I’ve gained as a result of that mistake.
My invitation to you is to use those memories of your mistakes as a marker for your growth. Rather than judging yourself harshly, look back and notice how your “mistake” has made you a better person.
Are you kinder, more patient, and more sure of your responses from having experienced the opposite?
Memories of past mistakes can remind us of the strength we are developing. Instead of shame or embarrassment, we can appreciate those moments.
So, instead of feeling guilt or remorse, can we begin to look at those moments with acceptance and appreciation?
Can you see how doing so would change how others respond to you?
Imagine what would happen in our lives if more of us were more forgiving of our mistakes because we see the good that has developed because of them.
Start today to consciously re-visit your mistakes with compassion for who you were then, and see the improving results that have followed.
With love,
