In writing last week’s newsletter, “The Roles of the Heart and Mind in Decision-Making,” I was reminded of a challenge I used to struggle with.
Maybe you can relate.
I struggled with knowing how to express my wants.
When given a choice, I would first think about how my desires would affect others.
I wanted others to be happy, so I would often put their needs ahead of my own.
Eventually, it became harder to know what I really wanted.
For example, when my children were at home and I was asked what movie I wanted to watch, I wasn’t sure if I should say.
I knew my children would want an animated movie, while my husband would prefer an action movie.
Knowing that whatever I chose, someone would be unhappy, I’d say it didn’t matter.
After many years, I realized that though other people felt good around me, I often did not feel good around myself.
I had to make some changes.
Some of those changes included recognizing that:
- Learning to think correctly is vital to healthy relationships.
- My needs and desires are as important as anyone else’s.
- Choosing what I want does not necessarily rule out what someone else wants.
- Claiming my worth as a person allows others to own their value as well.
Learning to value myself as much as I value others, and changing the way I think, led me to a happier, more fulfilling life.
Much love,
