I’ve just finished a week filled with family events and activities.
It was a wonderful time, with all six of my children coming together from all over to celebrate and support each other.
My youngest daughter returned home after an 18-month mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, while my next oldest daughter graduated from university.
The Challenge
The challenge was that these two significant events happened not only on the same day but within the same hour!
It was physically impossible to attend both.
The Old Me
The old me would have fretted, stewed, and felt guilty, even though there was nothing I could have done.
The old me would have felt responsible for making everything run smoothly and ensuring everyone was happy.
What I Chose to Do Instead
Instead, I chose to do what I could and support how I was able, all from a place of love and grace for others and myself.
For my college graduate, we attended the earlier Commencement ceremony and watched on-line her later Convocation on the way to the airport.
I am grateful for her maturity and understanding. She accepted what we could do and raced to the airport as soon as she was able to join us in showing love and support to her younger sister.
From Personal Experience
From personal experience, I’ve learned that:
- Trying to control other people’s experiences interferes with their personal growth and development.
- Believing I am responsible for the experiences of others is not only unhealthy for myself but can also damage relationships.
- Trying to carry someone else’s load that is not my responsibility weakens my emotional health and happiness, as well as theirs.
When we try to manage other people, we communicate that we don’t believe they can manage themselves. Trusting them to work out their lives allows them to grow in confidence and capacity.
I am grateful I learned this lesson some years ago. It allowed me to let go of unnecessary guilt and worry and move through these recent family events offering love and support, experiencing the joy of each moment.
I hope you too can give yourself grace in times of challenge and opportunities.
Much love,
