Ebb and Flow Rather than Balance

What does it mean to have a balanced life?

Is that even possible?

Are we striving for an unrealistic ideal?

When my children were young, I used to half-jokingly comment that I could attend to my daily spiritual practice OR exercise OR provide meals for my family, but that I couldn’t do them all in the same day.

It just didn’t seem possible.

A mother of a newborn baby dreams of time to take an uninterrupted shower.

A college student studying for finals pines for a full-nights sleep.

An individual with a chronic illness longs for days free of pain.

Is it possible to ever achieve a balanced life?

A Broader Perspective

Perhaps a broader perspective will help.

Our children grew up understanding that summer-time means farm work, and that crops take precedence.

Farming is our livelihood.

No amount of cajoling, sad eyes, or crying alters the fact that when the hay is ready to be cut or the grain ready to be combined, that is what we do.

There is no negotiating with nature.

So, for that period of time, all attention is on the crops.

My children’s social desires to spend time with friends, my need as a wife to go on a date, even my husband’s need for sleep, cannot alter that focus.

Of a necessity, other areas of our lives are set aside for a time.

And that is okay!

Our children learned that when the harvest is over, and farm work has slowed, the focus will change. 

We’ll be able to take family trips.

We’ll have time to attend school events. 

We’ll be able to sleep through the night.

Balance

Balance doesn’t mean that we spend equal time on every aspect of our life, the same every day.

Priorities shift over time. 

When we recognize that it is normal to have periods of focused attention we can allow that other things are set aside, knowing that the emphasis will change down the road. 

This leads to a more natural feeling of ebb and flow rather than an exhausting attempt of trying to achieve balance.

What Season Are You In?

Are you in a season of life that feels unbalanced?

Do you feel uncomfortable needing to spend great amounts of time in one area, and neglecting others?

David Bednar said, “You can only do one thing in one given moment….You can’t do it all in the same moment….Whatever it is you’re doing, do it….Learn over time how to be where you are, in the moment you’re in that place.”

I invite you to look at the immediateness of your experience.

Extend your vision to the long-term ebb and flow to discover peace.

You can then move forward with confidence rather than the judgment that life is not working.

Give yourself permission to focus for a time on what is needed, trusting that all things will work together for your good.

Have you seen this working in your life?

I’d love to hear any insights you have gained.

Much love,