Creating a Beautiful Experience

I’ve observed recently how difficult it is for many of us to let go of old stories that not only no longer serve us but can actually harm our well-being and our relationships.

Let me explain.

My 17-year old daughter, along with other girls from her high school, is participating in a program that provides scholarships for young women. They have been working many hours practicing interviewing skills, fitness routines, poise in performing, and how to think on their feet. It’s a challenging and demanding program full of opportunities for growth.

I’ve enjoyed seeing these young women strengthen their friendships with one another and grow in confidence and abilities. The experience of my now fifth daughter to participate in this program has been overwhelmingly rewarding and positive.

Though not everyone thinks so highly of this opportunity.

While talking with a friend of mine whose daughter is also participating, I was interested to hear her opinion. She expressed a strong dislike and her unhappiness that her daughter was participating.

I asked her how her daughter felt and she replied, “Oh, she loves it! But . . .” and on she went with her negative view.

I asked her again about her daughter’s experience. “Oh, she’s having a lot of fun and comes home happy! But . . .” and her complaints continued.

I asked my friend why she felt as she did. She didn’t really know, other than she remembered how she felt at that age towards those who participated in such programs.

Obviously, she still felt the same way.

How interesting, that this mother felt justified in ignoring all the good that was apparent in her daughter’s life, because she was stuck in negative beliefs about her own life.

Instead of emotionally supporting and letting her daughter have a great experience, she continually carried the negative energy of judgement.

No matter how much I tried to point out the positive, my friend refused to accept that her daughter’s participation might be a good thing.

I felt sorry for the intense feeling that my friend was not willing to give up and for not allowing herself to find joy in the development of her daughter.

Do you ever find yourself doing something similar?

Is it really worth holding on to the anger or belief that you were wronged, just so you can feel justified?

Why not let go the feelings of martyrdom and be open to the peace that comes from forgiveness or of even just allowing yourself to be open to the possibility of a positive, new, experience?